No, I Do Not Have to Email You Back

Have you been recently reprimanded by an unknown vendor for not responding to their email? So have I. And frankly, I find this trend in email etiquette (or lack of) disturbing.

Just because you’ve reached out to me does not mean I am obligated to answer back. Nor, if I choose to respond, be placed under an arbitrary and imaginary time constraint. So when vendors email back within 24 hours demanding to know why I haven’t responded, I have one solution. Mark them as spam and block their domain.

Here’s the thing. My time is valuable. I receive 100+ emails a day. Every day. The emails I choose to respond to are the ones that are respectful and don’t assume I owe them.

If this is their tactic, respect is the one thing they have already lost.

I find this to be a despicable and spammy technique. No, I did not miss your email. Yes, I check my spam folder frequently. Yes, I saw your offer/service/tool the first time. I simply have not made a decision as to whether or not I want to follow up with you. If you (the vendor, not you, dear reader) decide that I owe you something, you’re wrong. I did not ask you to.

Here’s an example of what I hate receiving (company name removed):

{email_recipient}, ⟵Already off to a bad start

I have not heard from anyone yet following my previous emails highlighting that [xxxx] will soon be open for submissions (Cost of doing business).

My time is valuable and you owe me a response. (No, I don’t)

I guess you think you have enough business but I bet your CEO disagrees!!!! (My CEO will think you are unethical. Threatening to get a response. How’s that working out for you?)

Here’s an example of how to do the followup right:

Hi Dave,

I’ve tried reaching out a few times about [XXX]. I was hoping that we could make the research process easier for you, but I don’t want to be one of those annoying salespeople.

I’ll stop reaching out, and I’ll assume that you’re not interested unless I hear back from you. Please feel free to reach out anytime.

That is respectful. And guess what? He got a nice response from me.

I hope you haven’t been treated like this from vendors, but if you have, you’re not alone. Mark them spam. It’s the only way they will learn that this is unacceptable.